Perfect

I'm always smiling, even though I can hurt inside
The smile is permanently glued to my face
It has to be
Because I have to be perfect

I don't have to be perfect for me
No
I have to be perfect for everyone else

Believe me, I would rather be lying on my sofa fat, not getting good grades, and not being friends with everyone
But I won't make anybody happy by doing that

It probably looks really easy to smile and laugh all the time
It probably looks really easy to be pretty
It probably looks really easy to never cry
It probably looks really easy to be the bubbly one, the flirty one, the one everybody likes
I'm telling you now, it's not

But instead of just being normal, I tell myself that other people are better when I'm better
When I laugh and smile, other people laugh and smile
When I'm pretty, other people feel pretty
When I don't cry, other people don't cry
When people like me, other people are just happier
It's most likely that none of that is true

People probably envy me and hate me when I'm like this
But I fool myself to think that they don't

As many arguments I will go through and have been through, I'm going to continue telling myself it's not because I'm perfect
It's not because I'm the happy one
It's not because I can smile
It's not because I'm bubbly or flirty
It's their problem not mine

And I'm going to continue to TRY to be "perfect"…